This article was orginally published in The Joyful Life Magazine and Christian Parenting.

https://joyfullifemagazine.com/holy-parenting/

https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/confident-parenting-barefoot-before-the-perfect-father/

“Didn’t you know? We live like animals around here,” I said, a bit embarrassed as we watched my daughter climb through our window, cradling a rabbit. The other mom’s face lit up. “Oh, we don’t have screens, either,” she said, smiling. “But I did notice your kids don’t wear shoes very often.” She proceeded to list the various times and events at which she’d witnessed my children without shoes.

The funny thing is, I didn’t recall half the times she mentioned. Jesus help me, I thought, I truly am raising animals. My head sunk back as they waved goodbye. The admission slipped out in a single breath, “Jesus, there are so many holes in my parenting.” His Spirit whipped back sharp and clear: It’s okay. I’m the One who can make them holy.

God isn’t surprised or disappointed that I’m not a perfect mom. If my kids do miraculously grab a shoe, they can’t find the other one, anyway! Still, I imagine He delights in watching their naked toes running through the grass.

He must’ve been pleased with His servant Moses, barefoot before the burning bush, and with Joshua, a mighty warrior, barefoot before the battle. “Take off your sandals,” He commanded them both, “for the place on which you are standing is holy ground” (Exodus 3:5; Joshua 5:15). Holy translates to ‘set apart.’ Before both men were commissioned into a form of battle, God first asked them to remove their shoes. I couldn’t help but think of how parenting sometimes feels like a battlefield. Is God asking us to remove our shoes as well? And if so, why?

In ancient culture, removing one’s shoes had great significance. It could signify many things: reverence, submission, the redemption of property, transfer of power, showing the legality of a purchase, or even a symbol of giving up one’s rights. It is a symbol of relinquishing control and humbling ourselves.

Yes, God can make the holes in my parenting holy. He can replace my anxiety with peace, exhaustion with a renewed mind, and frustration with joy. For this to happen, however, I need to give up my parental rights and hand them over to the perfect Father. There are areas in the hearts of my children that I can’t reach, no matter how hard I strain.

Godly parenting isn’t just teaching our children what we believe about God; it’s teaching what God believes about them.

My youngest son is, well, we call it ‘passionate’—about everything.

Once, he frantically called us to his bedroom before a big soccer game and said, “I don’t know what I will do. My nose is stuffed! How will I smell the victory tomorrow?!”

He was dead serious. Winning the big game was on his shoulders, and now that he’d lost his sense of smell, he was apparently worthless. This was a pattern we began to notice in him. If he couldn’t do something perfectly, he saw himself as insignificant. If he got nine out of ten correct on a math test, he was “terrible at math.” There was no gray area for our sweet boy.

He measured himself based on performance. Admittedly, I struggle with this, too. You don’t have to be a tween to hear Satan’s lies. The enemy wants us to focus on what we can or cannot do instead of our identity in Christ. But this begs the bigger question: Do our kids really know who they are?

I began to pray over how to approach this with my son. God revealed that although it’s holy and essential that we raise our children to know God, it’s equally important that we teach them what God knows about them.

This revelation changed everything in our home. I asked God to show me where to start, and He gave me three principles I hope will encourage you too.

TEACH THEM SCRIPTURES ABOUT THEIR IDENTITY IN CHRIST: CHILD, GOD PURPOSED YOU

When was the last time you told your kids that God knew their names before He created the Earth? Have you ever showed them the verse that proves it? I wasn’t sure if I had done those two things together. God led me to some prompts that I’d love to share:

SAY: “Did you know that God knew your name before He laid the foundations of the world? Before He said, ‘Let there be light,’ He said, ‘Let there be you.’”

SHOW:  “Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will” (Ephesians 1:4-5a).

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” (Jeremiah 1:5a).

SAY:  “Did you know God created you with His very hands?”

SHOW:  “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-14a).

SAY: “Do you know that God took the time to write a book about your life before you were born?”

SHOW: “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (Psalm 139:16).

SAY: “God cares about everything you do and say.”

SHOW: “O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether” (Psalm 139:1-4).

PERSONALIZE THE GOSPEL: CHILD, HE IS FOR YOU.

Do your kids know that all history weaves around the story of God pursuing them, crying out from a manger, and later crying out from a cross?

It was all for them. It can be challenging, however, for kids to relate to an all-inclusive statement such as, “God so loved the world.” If we personalize the gospel for our children, it comes alive and becomes more powerful to them. Try choosing Scripture verses based on what your child is going through and personalize the verses with his or her name.

“For God so loved [Jake] that he gave his one and only son” (Inspired by John 3:16).

“For [Jake] is his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that he should walk in them” (Inspired by 1 Corinthians 2:10).

“For I know the plans I have for [Jake], declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give him a future and a hope” (Inspired by Jeremiah 29:11).

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate [Jake] from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Inspired by Romans 8:38-39).

“Fear not, for I am with you, [Jake]; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Inspired by Isaiah 41:10).