Pull your husband close and dance barefoot in the kitchen.
Cradle your littles and kiss those chubby cheeks.
Hug your tweens and tell them they’ll always be your baby.
Grab that teenager and tickle those stinky feet.
Pray in the car.
Point to Jesus.
Serve when it’s hard.
Choose love when it hurts.
Be thankful.
Gather your family for meals every day.
Speak life every chance you get.
Choose worship over worry.
Live,
Read,
memorize,
and teach your children
The Word.
Give honor to the One who created your family.
Fall in love with Jesus by falling on your knees.
Courageously pour hope into your home.
Stand your ground, mammas.
have a mother’s courage.
šIt means so much that you’re taking this journey with me.ā¤
Drop your email for a FREE SEVEN-DAY DEVOTIONAL: CLICK HERE FOR DEVOTIONAL
Knowing you may not hold someone you love for much longer leaves the days feeling fresh and fragile. I remember sitting next to my Poppa when he was passing away. I listened carefully for the next breath, knowing any moment the next breath wouldn’t come. I wanted to be with him, inhale deeply next to him, sing to him, pray with him, hold his hand while it was still warm.
I find myself watching our foster daughter with similar thoughts breaking ashore–just allow one more day with her; Father God, give me more than one more breath.
With our baby girl, I can only plan for her needs six months at a timeā¦because that’s how long it is between court dates and decisions. I turned down bigger sized clothing, walkers, and high chairs when she was first placed with us. Now, I’m turning down toddler beds and trikes. I don’t plan for her life past April, our next court date. I find myself thinking, “this may be the last time we (fill in the blank) with this sweet girl.”
I’m waking up. I want to be as diligent and intentional to soak in every life around me, not just my foster daughter’s. We’re not guaranteed one more breath with anyone. Many of us know this truth well. Life can change in a flutter.
This journey has taught me to stand in awe, awakening to each day as one more gift from God. The sunrises are stunning, snoring husbands are cute instead of irritating, stinky soccer socks cause me to pause and give thanks for healthy children, and every baby milestone feels magical. Seriously. Baby girl shoving puffs into her mouth (and all over the floor) makes everyone in this house party like it’s nineteen ninety-nine. It’s so stinkin’ cute.
We’re trying to dig into every day over here. And although we cannot plan out the future, God is teaching me three things we can do: Pray, Prepare & Play.
Pray for God’s purposes.
What if we don’t know God’s purpose or plan for our lives? Instead of trying to force the future into the box I’ve delegated for itāI can lay that all down and pray, “Lord, I ask that your perfect purposes for the future be accomplished in my life and the lives of my loved ones. Let nothing stand in your way.”
Prepare your heart.
God’s plan may not line up with my limited ideas of perfection. We can remember God’s good and always trustworthy. This helps us prepare our hearts to accept whatever the future holds. Since we’ve become a foster family, I often pray, “Lord, please prepare my heart (and the hearts of my children) for whatever lies ahead. Give us peace.”
Play with the people you love.
Grab the people you love and take pleasure in them. We may not have tomorrow, but we have today! I’m not sure why we don’t memorize this scripture in Sunday school, but maybe we should make it a thing (especially the part about bread and wine),
“Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yesāGod takes pleasure in your pleasure! Dress festively every morning. Donāt skimp on colors and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is Godās gift. Itās all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily! This is your last and only chance at it,,”Ā (Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 MSG)
Dear Lord,
Ā Ā Ā I don’t know your purpose or plans for my children and loved ones, but I pray for it. I ask that you go ahead of them, paving the way for peace and provision. I pray you are parting seas they don’t see. I pray you are planting people of godly influence in their path before they get there. I pray for wisdom when they are pressed against the hard rock of life.
I pray for forgiving friends who point them to your love. I pray for protection over their hearts and bodies. I pray faith rises fiercely in their soul when doubt pushes down. I pray for eyes to see your blessings when they feel cheated. I pray they run to you, instead of away, when their hearts are broken. I pray they love bravely because that’s why you made them. I pray your voice reaches them when mine cannot and whispers, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” I pray they know love because they know you. Amen
It means so much that you’re taking this journey with me.ā¤ I’d love to send you a FREE SEVEN-DAY DEVOTIONAL: CLICK HERE FOR DEVOTIONAL
I heard the click of his light and waited for the invitation. Silence. Why wasnāt my Eli calling for me?
Maybe heās praying, or stretching, or reading with a book light? Was something wrong?!
Iāll tell you whatās wrong – my boy is growing up. And Iām not ready.
I crept out of bed and peeked into his room. He looked longer, his jaw a bit wider, with those man-boy feet (now bigger than mine) sticking out from his Star Wars blanket,
āAre you okay!? You didnāt call me to āKentuckyā you inā¦ā
He opened his eyes, cracking a smile. Had he lost all his baby teeth?
āOh, my goodness! Youāre freaking out, I just thought it was too late to call you.ā He laughed. Apparently, my mama-meltdown was hilarious.
But something squeezed at my heart, āNever. Itās never too late. You can always call me!ā
And just like that, I realized my longing to be understood was much like my Heavenly Fatherās. How many times had he sung the same ancient truth over my life- Itās never too late, you can always call on me.
āThe Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer you; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am Iā (Psalm 145:18 NIV).
Being a mother reminds me Iām made in the image of God. And although the love I feel for my kiddos is a teeny glimpse of His love for usā¦thereās nothing on earth more consuming and eternal, besides God himself. Itās that big. At times when Iām desperate for my son to hear my words, God confirms -He feels the same way about me. His Spirit pleads, “Why arenāt you calling on me, daughter?”
Heās listening at the door of my heart while I sit in the dark, cold and unsure. Always present, but desiring me to utter His name, to invite Him to turn on the light. But I make excuses- Iāve waited too long, my need is too great, or the most dangerousā¦my need is too small.
What areas of your life do you hold back from Godās loving comfort? In what space do you prefer Him not to come? Where have you cuddled under the lie, āMy longing is too insignificant for Him to careā? Push these things aside; theyāre smothering your access to child-like faith. All we need to do is, ācry for help, and He will say: Here am I.ā
P.S. I reserve the right to tuck my “babies” into bed as long as they live under my roof. I’m fairly certain it’s in the Constitution somewhere…or a Dr. Suess book. Either way.
Iād love to travel the globe with my kids.Ā I imagine weād get lost down colorful alleys, pop into every restaurant oozing with the smell of butter and spiceā¦but right now, we spend most our time at soccer practice, and in the school drop off lines. Itās our life stage and I adore it. But I long to instill a sense of passion for the world and all Godās created into my children.Ā Teaching our children to pray for the world is a powerful act of love.
Godās entrusted us with the upbringing of eternal souls. If we desire these precious souls to be world-changers for Jesus,Ā theyāll need a love for its people, because āGod so loved the world that he gave his one and only Sonā (John 3:16). How doĀ weĀ do this?
This is one tradition thatās brought us a step closer to Godās heart; one small way to start loving on a global level. I pray it inspires you to have some meaningful fun this summer!
how to teach our children to pray for the world
Choose! Each week we take turns choosing a country on our world map. We have a map that you can scratch off the color of each country as you go, but I also love the idea of sticking a colorful pin in a cork map.
Pray! After weāve chosen a country we open up our book,Ā āOperation World:Ā The definitive prayer guide to every nationāĀ by Jason Mandryk. I canāt emphasize how I cherish this book. Here youāll find all sorts of interesting nuggets about the country. My favorite āĀ the most urgent prayer needs. This is what we focus on. Whatever those prayer needs are (poverty, persecution, government corruption, child exploitation, orphans, lack of natural resources, etc.), we include them in our family prayers over dinner. The book also includes a section of answered prayers for each country!
Give!Ā After our eyes have been opened to the immediate needs of others, the heart is always moved to action. If one of your kiddos shows particular interest in the need of another nation, help them research an organization that they can support through their allowance. My kiddos have even set up lemonade stands in the past to raise money for water wells in Africa.
Cook! We chose recipes from our chosen culture and cook meals together. This can be a beautiful mess at times! Some of my major #kitchenfails include Russian borscht and Ethiopian injera (Yes Eli, Iām sure I followed the recipe. No, I donāt know why it doesnāt look like the picture!)
Learn! We go to the library. I let the kids run amuck and grab whatever books they can find about the country. Itās so fun to share with each other what weāve learned after we read our books.
Have fun! We plan a fun movie night. If your kids are older, you can choose a documentary. The library has great choices for documentaries for littles too! You donāt have to get super serious about this. When my kids were babes we totally counted āBeauty and the Beastā as French culture (ya know, because of all the baguettes and bonjours in the opening scene). Youāre making the effort, no oneās judging you!
Hereās the point: Taking time to learn and pray for others around the world, demonstrates to our kids that we should care; we should care about hearing peopleās stories who are different than us. We should be intentional to understand the needs of the world outside America. Our children wonāt learn to cultivate a love for all Godās people if we donāt model to them that itās the heart of Jesus.
here are some resources to help teach your children to pray for the world:
Our bird mamma is back. Penelope- the one thatās decided our rotting patio cover is the perfect place to build her nest. I love this crazy, determined, cutie-pie bird.
The irony is not lost on me. I feel like Iām observing a bird version of myself. All the hopes of my heart to adopt over the past five years seem overshadowed by the decay that surrounds them. Five years of broken expectations. Four failed adoptions āĀ one international, three domestic ā chipping away at the strength of my spirit.
But here I sit, day after day, choosing to knit my nest together with Godās promises, while everything around me threatens to cave in.
what do you believe god’s promises are for you?
What is your nesting egg? The desire of your heart that you believe God planted? Have you asked God to remove it if itās not his will? I have. Over and over. Yet it remains. And even when the lies of the enemy are crudely constructed, attempting to cover up the promise that Godās plans are to prosper me and not to harm me (Jeremiah 29:11a), His truth still is not obstructed. I can still feel it.
Besides, āhope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, weĀ wait for it with patienceā (Romans 8:24bā25 ESV).
I may have to grope clumsily in the darkness for a season, but itās there. Because God is eternal and God is hope.
What is eternal cannot be extinguished.
Did you know the biblical word for hope, tiqvah, literally translates to cord, hope, and expectation? Itās used in the story of Rahab. Sheās instructed to tie a scarlet cord (tiqvah, hope) in her window to remain unharmed. (Joshua 2:18). Hope protects us. Itās a holy signal to the enemy that he canāt touch us. Itās the scarlet cord we unabashedly display over our doorframe that cries out, āI belong to King Jesus!ā
Grasping it like a rope, Iāve tried to āhold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, forĀ he who promised is faithfulā (Hebrews 10:23 ESV). I still struggle, asking God, Why are you making us wait so long for the desires of our heart?!
hold on tight to God’s promises. it’s worth it.
In all transparency, my hands have grown weary and calloused from clinging to the rope for so long.Ā It hurts. My hopeful waiting has been seasoned with suffering. But isnāt this part of the blessing? Callouses give us the ability to endure situations that would naturally tear our hearts wide open. It takes time and endurance for callouses to form.
In high school, I cursed the callouses that formed while trying to learn to play the guitar. However, the first time my fingertips were tough enough to press on the strings to play a worship song, I was flooded with understanding. The momentary discomfort Iād endured made it possible for me to sing a new song of praise. I donāt know all the reasons weāre asked to wait. However, I do know there is a perfectly holy reason for every situation. We are called to hope (Ephesians 4:4), and that means we are called to wait. Not just to wait but also to look.
In fact, the Hebrew root of the word hope is ka-va, meaning to wait, to look for. Faith-filled hope is active. When I find myself wrestling with discouragement, Iām really wrestling with my passivity.Ā Hope requires that weāre eager watchmen on the tower of our days, scanning the valley for signs of life.
Just like Penelope, who is oblivious to the rot around her because her eyes are on the tiny, yet wildly adored, promise beneath her. She waits. She watches. She constantly tends to the hope among the decay. Sweet Jesus, teach me to do this!
The idea of becoming foster parents was like realizing there was another egg in the nest weād never noticed! Itās only through the sustaining grip of Godās love that we kept diligent watch over the ragged nest perched in our hearts. I praise God for the gift of hope. I thank Him for reminding me that hope is my protection, my courage, my confidence, my calling, and my strength! I raise my hands in praise, calloused as they are from clinging to hope, to the one that gives life to His promises.
āBut those who hopeĀ in theĀ Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.ā (Isaiah 40:31Ā NIV)
God’s word is always the best source of encouragement! Click here for a beautiful printout of verses celebrating hope in Jesus:God’s Word-Marked by Love-Hope
I was a cheerleader. Not the cool kind. When a routine called for the splits, Iād lower my skirt to hide the fact I was several inches away from nailing it. I couldnāt do a toe-touch. Iād routinely jaunt across the quad with my skirt unknowingly tucked up under my backpack. Yeah.
One of our important cheerleading jobs was painting the ārun-thru” for the Friday night football game. This was serious stuff. We had to make life-altering decisions like: What should it say?! What colors should we use?! If we use too much paint, will it be too hard to tear?
A stampede of sweaty teenagers ran through this thing before theyād compete. It signaled the battle of Friday Night Lights had begun; they were ready to face their opponents and build a legacy.
God asks us to do the same thing at times. He’ll require we charge towards a stronghold before announcing, āYouāre ready to step on the field.ā
āThere is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavensā¦A time to tear down and time to buildā (Ecclesiastes 3:1,3b).
Sometimes we must tear down before we can build up. The Hebrew word for ātear downā in this verse is parats. In the tense used it means, to break or burst out (from womb or enclosure). So another way to understand this is, thereās a time to burst out from whatever youāre stuck inside of.
Weāve got to break-through in order to build.
I found the same Hebrew word used nine other times in the context of increasing blessing or territory.
āThe little you had before I came has increased (parats, break or burst out) greatly, and the LORD has blessed you wherever I have beenā (Genesis 30:30a)
Thereās a blessing when we press past our comfort zones into new territory.
Whatās stopping us from making that phone call, having the hard conversation, going to the adoption seminar, applying for that job, taking the first step towards healing our marriage? Maybe weāre too busy staring at the daunting banner in front of us, forgetting we have a banner over us. Moses declared, āThe LORD is my Bannerā (Exodus 17:15). We are to lift up His name and bravely march forward.
Perhaps weāre too prideful thinking we can run through the banner by ourselves? Listen, it took a herd of sweaty young men to burst through our epic signs. Call the counselor or friend. Get in a small support group or Bible study. If you have a stronghold or complacent spot in your life, gather some people around you and address it. Life is moving forward with or without your participation.
Maybe weāre unwilling to put effort into breaking through our fears, selfishness, insecurities or haunting grief.
Itās a shame really.
Because thereās an epic battle going on among us, and we werenāt made to stand on the sidelines. God can heal and equip, and he passionately desires to do so.
Letās do the hard work of identifying the banners holding us back. Letās be brave and learn to run full force at them, knowing on the other side is where weāre called to be living our lives. On the field, with our brothers and sisters, co-laboring with Christ to build things that are ātrue, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, graciousāthe best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curseā (Philippians 4:8-9 The Message)
Weāve got one life on this earth. One. Get in the good fight for the kingdom. Ask God to show you which areas you need to have a breakthrough and CHARGE!!
The Southern California rain surprised all humanity this year, giving my kiddos a false sense of hope, “Mommy, do you think they’ll close the schools because it’s raining?!”
Um, no. That’s not a thing.
The brown hills by our house have exploded into yellow flowers. They press on their tippy-toes waving hello. Maybe California should cancel school, offering a day to admire the new life with neighbors. Because when it comes to new life, we really go out of our way to celebrate it donāt we? If we desire the company of new life, weāll find she always brings a guest.
Life and death sit side by side. So often we shoo the experience of grieving to the “obligatory guest” table. No one wants him at the partyā¦but sooner or later, he shows up. I photographed weddings for years, and I promise you, there’s always a wacky relative in attendance (psssst… it’s your uncle). One wedding reception, the exuberant uncle was on the dance floor, flat on his back, pretending to look up the bride’s dress. Yeah. Sometimes grief acts like that guy.Ā Meaning- he has no sense of social awareness. We find ourselves asking, who invited him anyways?!Ā
But it’s not his fault. When we shove the process of grieving far into the burrow of our lives; he’s forced to rear hisĀ head at the most inconvenient times. Can you relate? The checker at Vons asks if you have bags and you burst into tears because you left them in the car. If grief wants your attention, heās ruthlessly successful. Iām finding that depriving him the attention he craves, only makes him fervently jump up and down.
let your grief take a seat
Iāve decided itās best to offer him a space to be heard.
Learning to set a place for grief at our table is a grueling and powerful act of faith. But it needs to be done. Joy is painfully birthed out of sorrow. When we pull the chair out from under him and ask him to leave, weāre telling him heās not important to our story; that he has nothing of value to add to the conversation. When in reality, God often uses our grief to scoot our chair closer to joy.Ā God wants to speak to each of us through our sufferings.
Many believers experience guilt over admitting theyāre sad. The idea of feeling guilty for grieving is not biblical! We’re taught we should rejoice in our sufferings, to always be happy because we have Jesus. There’s truth here. However, the rejoicing does not negate the suffering- it accompanies it.
allow your grief to usher in joy
God has filled me with inexplicable joy over our new journey to be foster parents. But honestly, itās the grief of failed adoptions that brought us here. Itās impossible for me to separate my new joy from my concurrent grief. They’re powerfully intertwined. Have we forgotten that Jesus wept three times in scripture? Each time, coupled with an occurrence of great joy: before the resurrection of Lazarus (John 11:35); right after the triumphal entry into Jerusalem (Luke 19:41); and in the garden before his own death and resurrection leading to the salvation of mankind (Hebrews 5:7).
It is possible to sit next to joy and grief at the same time. Itās healthy to look grief the face and ātalk it outā or ācry it outā or slap him in the face. Whatever you need to do to acknowledge theyāre times heās going to come to dinner and you canāt ignore him. Weāve got to deal. But we’re not alone. God’s table is big. It may mean we pull up more chairs for counselors or sisters in Christ to help us mediate the conversation. Or, maybe we need to excuse ourselves for a āprayer break,ā or take a moment to wash our wounds in The Word.
As we become more intentional in setting a place for grief, we canāt lose sight that where God allows sorrow, he assigns great joy.Ā Ā “WeepingĀ may stay for the night,Ā but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5b)
God’s word beautifully reminds us that he’s with us in our suffering. Check out these Bible verses for inspiration: God’s Word-Marked by Love- Suffering
p.s. If the voice of your grief is consistently louder than the voice of your loving Father, you may be experiencing depression. They are not the same thing. Please feel free to message me and I would be honored to help you find a counselor.
Last week, I had a –how did my walls get this dirty?! – kind of day. Our adoption social worker was coming over to redo our home safety report (because they LOST the original. Yup.)
I can’t even. I found myself, knees pressed to the wood floors, scrubbing off fingerprints…or maybe they’re toe-prints? I don’t even know.
One smudge rallied so hard against my efforts- it was like a caveman painting fighting to not be erased from our home history.
So how did my walls get so dirty? Because people live here; little dirty people and big dirty people. This is our safe place; our “come as you are “place.
Let’s be real- Our safest walls are always the messiest.
When they walk through the doors of this house, I don’t demand they clean up right away. I don’t insist on showers the second they burst through the door from hours of bike-riding, or soccer-playing or middle-school surviving.
I let them rest a bit. Breathe a bit. Eat a snack. Grab a drink. I let them just…be. And although this is a picture of grace, it’s still not excusable for them to intentionally wipe a muddy cleat on my hypothetical white rug, or smudge a happy face on walls with their grubby fingers.
Our home parallels our relationships. The more intimate the relationship, the messier it can get. The safer we feel, the more careless we can become. There are days my hubby comes home and I soil his spirit with careless words, sarcastic comebacks, and hurtful eye rolls. All the junk that’s clung to my shoes and wedged under my skin from the day, I carry straight to my people.
It’s OKā¦but it’s not OK. We have to take responsibility for checking the condition of our hearts when we enter our safe spaces. We canāt treat our people like itās their job to stand still and let us wipe our junk all over them.
When my kids come in stinky and tired, it’s true, I let them rest. But eventually, they’re getting in that shower y’all! It’s the same with our attitudes and spirits.
The home is where grace and discipleship should be profoundly weaved together. Healthy homes cannot have discipleship without grace, and grace is not effective without discipleship.
I try to hold my tongue when someone spills in my home. It’s simply human nature to mess up, but even more so, to sin. There’s no value gained by verbally ripping into my family, “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues” (Proverbs 10:19).
However, I don’t allow them to walk away without taking responsibility to clean up. When the mess is dripping off the table, soaking my rug, I’ll snatch another towel and jump on the floor with my kiddo to help. At times, the stain is so tricky, I’ll need to explain how I know white wine gets out most anything. Ā Our kids are still kids. We need to guide them on how to clean up the messes they make.
This same model of discipleship can be used when our kiddos verbally smear their siblings. I’m struck by The Message’s version of Matthew 18, āBut what comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart. Itās from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments…”
As parents, don’t we get it?! I know I struggle to remember this! It’s not the words we should be scurrying to mop up- itās the āvomitā collecting in our hearts. We offer astounding love when we help our kids notice thereās a well from which they draw their words. Harsh words and attitudes don’t pollute the heart; they ooze from a polluted heart.
We all have days that leave our souls caked with mud-like frustration. It’s expected weāll need a safe space to wash up. But showing someone our dirty hands is different than shoving it on them.
Itās my instinctual reaction to yell, donāt you dare say that! or apologize right now! But Iām praying for patience and wisdom. Maybe the question I should really pull my kiddos aside and ask is, why do you think you just said that? And instead of demanding a flippant apology, challenge them to think, why do you think Iām asking you to apologize?
If we donāt teach our kids, (and ourselves!) how to āheart checkā in the midst of bubbling emotions, weāll be spewing all over our beloved home asking, how did our walls get so dirty?!
God’s word beautifully reminds us that our words have the power to give life.Ā Check out these Bible verses for inspiration: God’s Word Marked by Love
He didnāt ask me to tuck him in last night.
I was a cheerleader. Not the cool kind. When a routine called for the splits, Iād lower my skirt to hide the fact I was several inches away from nailing it. I couldnāt do a toe-touch. Iād routinely jaunt across the quad with my skirt unknowingly tucked up under my backpack. Yeah.
