Pride is such an ugly thing. I don’t know how to talk about our decision to adopt without it sounding like we are doing something out of the kindness of our own hearts; That it is truly ‘our’ idea. Adoption is God’s idea. Adoption is God’s plan. We humans, no matter how ‘good’ we think we are, have zero to do with it. ZERO! I feel there is just no way to emphasize accurately the enormity of this truth. It has nothing to do with our goodness, and everything to do with God’s goodness.
You want to know how ‘good’ of a person I am? I found myself praying through tears on the floor to God that I couldn’t do this, that ‘this will be too hard, I already have 3 kids that I can’t clean up after. How will I do that much laundry?!’ I was throwing the towel in over this stuff.
God is so patient.
He let me go on and on with questions as to how this would affect MY life. He was quiet. He let me finish. Then he whispered firmly, ‘Child, everything you asked was how adopting this child would affect you. Not one word from your mouth asked how it would affect the child if you didn’t adopt them.’ Smack down. Seriously. There are times when God speaks so lovingly in his rebuke that it smacks me down on my face in repentance. This was one of those moments. Yes, there would be more laundry, and more sibling disputes to referee. There would be some sacrifice on my part. But isn’t sacrificing the cost of redeeming a life? Jesus endured far more than a few extra socks to wash when he adopted me. This quote by Derek Loux just wrecks me:
“Adoption is redemption. It is costly, exhausting, expensive and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed him.” Continue reading