What are we to do when we feel God is calling us to do something that may appear crazy to others?
For me personally, it is adopting from Ethiopia.
The last couple of months the conversations have gone down like this:
‘Are you done having kids?’
‘Well, we are naturally done having children’
‘What does that mean?
‘We are in the process of adoption right now’…
Silence. Awkward silence, you know the kind.
The verbal sparring begins after this: ‘Why don’t you just have another child naturally? Why aren’t you adopting domestically? Do you think this is fair to your current children? Do you really thing GOD is calling you to do this?’.
Why all the push back? There are 153,000,000 orphans in the world. I assumed when I told people we were adopting, there would be some sort of celebration, some sort of, ‘Hallelujah! God’s people are moving!’…but I have received a lot of silence followed by strained questions; and it hurts. I feel the need to defend our call to adopt, and it is breaking my heart. I regret to admit, I have allowed it to tear some of the joy out of the process. Satan must be so pleased.
In the meantime, I feel I am in the ebb and flow of the tides. A tide pushes at me, I push back…
‘No, random mom I just met, we haven’t considered reversing my husband’s vasectomy, Yes, we feel it is GOD calling us to adopt.’ And ‘I have a lot of fears of how it will affect my current children, but God loves them more than me. He knows what he is asking of us.’
In the middle of my ‘pushing back’, this week I heard him say, ‘Why are you down in the water, pushing against these tides, when you could walk on top of the water child?’
Yes Lord! WHY!?
Where is my perspective in all of this? Sometimes I feel we try to put God’s plan for our lives in a pretty box. Then, we pass it around to everyone in hopes that they will think the box is pretty too. The truth is, it is not our job to make God’s plan look pretty or easy, or logical.
In fact, the attempts I have made to do this only revel how meager my understanding of Him truly is. I can only shovel water for so long. These waves will swallow me up, they will quench my joy, and they will drown out the voice of my Father.
We don’t need to explain to people ‘why’ God has called us to something.. We may never know the ‘why’. What is essential is that we know the ‘WHO’.
In Matthew 14:25-29, Jesus appears to the disciples walking on water. They are afraid, but look at how Peter reacts:
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
God Bless you Peter. You are the second person I want to meet in heaven. The other disciples sit in a boat scared. All it takes for Peter is to hear the words ‘Come’, and he does. He doesn’t turn around and consult with the others. He did not defend his decision to obey.
What is so awesome about this passage is that Jesus doesn’t ask Peter to come until Peter is willing. It is Peter who asks, ‘Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” He is eager, he is hungry. I love that Jesus honors this, ‘Come’ he answers.
I have read this passage over and over. I can’t imagine what would possess Peter to step out of the boat sometimes. I have come to see it is what Jesus says right before Peter asks to be called out onto the water.
‘ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
‘It is I.’
It is Jesus, have courage! It is Jesus, don’t be afraid. Peter knew WHO was calling him and this gave him the willingness to take the step out of the boat. If God is truly calling me to adopt, or give my treasure to a smelly homeless man, or leave my job, or give grace to my husband…how can I have fear?
He is Sovereign.
He loves me.
He died for me.
I am His.
If I truly believed who the scriptures say Jesus really is, then fear should be a non-issue. If only my faith was perfect…
In scripture there are at least 102 different titles given to God. Some specific to Jesus: Good Shepherd, Comforter, Refuge, Rock, Sacrifice, Truth, Advocate, King of Kings, , Lord of all, Hope, Peace, Cornerstone, Ransom, Redeemer, Sure Foundation, the True God.
Reading these names out loud gives me the chills. Is this the Jesus I hear telling me to be courageous? Is this the Jesus telling me not be afraid?! Is this the Jesus telling me to ‘Come’?
‘It is I’.
Peter, I get it. I get why you couldn’t wait for him to call you out onto the waters. I get why you wasted no time rationalizing your desire to be next to him! God, forgive me for taking so long to cry out ‘Tell me to come to you on the water!’.
I want to come to you Lord! Give me the freedom to step over these deadly currents. I don’t want to hear the waves. I only want to hear you. Call me out onto the waters with you; teach me to be fearlessly obedient. Amen.